I would really like to lay flat on the floor to see if that helps with the pain in my upper back and shoulders.

I’m just afraid that I won’t be able to get back up.

🧓

246am

About an hour ago, I woke up drenched in sweat. I got up and took a shower.

Aero, my boy cat, did not approve. He whined the entire time.

It seems I need to file a request in triplicate next time.

I have been blessed

Growing up thinking/believing that you’ll be talented and then coming to grips with the fact that you definitely aren’t is a giant bummer.

Rattles

I wonder if this whole [1 night of decent sleep a week] thing is going to be a regular thing. I just looked back at my tracker and it kinda shows a pattern. I’m a preparer. If I think something is coming up, I find ways to make sure I can adjust to survive (oddly enough, this has never applied to money, however). So I’m sitting here asking myself if I can survive like this for a while.

But how in the fuck to adjust? I’ve tried doing more activity, I’ve tried less (I’m pretty good at doing as little as possible, it’s genetic). I’ve tried not eating after 8pm, I’ve tried herbal tea at bedtime. I’ve tried melatonin and cbd. I’ve tried taking them together. I’ve even tried asmr stuff. I limit my screen time (or I don’t because it doesn’t seem to matter). I’ve also tried not napping.

I have that lovely insomnia that is both trouble falling asleep and trouble staying asleep. I can usually function pretty well on 5 or more hours, but less than that really fucks with my fibro which then causes me to have fog brain.

I don’t know what will fix this, but I sure hope it doesn’t last much longer.